05-30-2015, 01:28 AM
Without the word "thus"? Sounds like a laxative.
The storm of dew and the sudden darkness and whatever is basically this thick, really really cold and wet mist that suddenly obscured our way to class that day (I sketched this while walking about about a year or half ago). The rhyme bondage is not something I'm gonna remove -- I like the generally silly air about forcing rhymes, at least in this case. Although for the sake of clearing things up, I'll change the descriptions and stuff.
And the fish is a silly, silly, silly metaphor. I'll keep with the fish, but I'll go for something with more sense -- say, salmon swimming up river? Because who doesn't love fish?
As for your suspicion, you're generally right. Just missed the mist being an impediment, s'all.
The storm of dew and the sudden darkness and whatever is basically this thick, really really cold and wet mist that suddenly obscured our way to class that day (I sketched this while walking about about a year or half ago). The rhyme bondage is not something I'm gonna remove -- I like the generally silly air about forcing rhymes, at least in this case. Although for the sake of clearing things up, I'll change the descriptions and stuff.
And the fish is a silly, silly, silly metaphor. I'll keep with the fish, but I'll go for something with more sense -- say, salmon swimming up river? Because who doesn't love fish?
As for your suspicion, you're generally right. Just missed the mist being an impediment, s'all.