Two-Thirty in the Afternoon

[Brownlie]

I guess I'll be cavalier with my comment here.

A flash of grey, a storm of dew: -- Flash of Grey? storm of dew? These phrases seem to evoke inexact images that can be tightened up to refer to something more clear.  
the evening comes an hour too soon.
Umbrellas rise and schedules fall,
while blindness seems to cover all.

Thus fear-filled grows our constant path, -- For me, the syntax is too awkward in this line. 
and we hear calls to turn about.
But chilly fingers cannot break
the eager fish from learning's lake! -- Not sure about this personification "learning's lake" (or that's what I'm calling it). 

So through the mist, my party goes:
our quest to get to lecture class.
And, in the end, we exit true,
successful, but with sickness new! -- Too much strange syntax (in my opinion).

I like the meter, that is always fun to me. I guess I would just say that the images need to be tightened up, and the syntax needs to be more "natural." Thanks for posting, it was fun.