Tunnel Vision

[i.might.be.a.bit.sad]

The subway is haunted by eyes with no aim, <--- took me a second to get this idea, but i think i did. I might think of clearing it up a bit. Or just not letting idiots like me read it
there’s nowhere to lay them, a lap is too plain,
our phones get no signal, perhaps that’s to blame: <--- love this line.
the subway is haunted by eyes with no aim.
 
The tunnel is dreary, its train car’s the same, <--- its and car's right next to each other sound a little funny, and i had to think about whether this was grammatically correct or not. Might think of another way to word this.
a panhandler whistles, but no one has change,
a young girl gets nervous, the man hides his shame: <---are these connected? if they are, i think this needs a bit more expansion, otherwise the reader is left just wondering what the man is shameful about and the little girl is nervous about.
the subway is haunted, by eyes with no aim.

I really love the rhyming pattern and rhythm you have going here. Thanks for the read