NEPAL
#6
(04-28-2015, 11:29 AM)srijantje Wrote:  piles of rubble
moaning underneath
nothing is unreal
Last line seems a bit out of place. It doesn't expound upon the meaning of the previous lines, and without the proper context the line simply states what you should always expect the reader to assume: That what you have written is real and has consequence. It seems superfluous. Clever wordplay, though.
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Messages In This Thread
NEPAL - by srijantje - 04-28-2015, 11:29 AM
RE: NEPAL - by ellajam - 04-28-2015, 11:30 AM
RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 04-28-2015, 11:44 AM
RE: NEPAL - by Erthona - 05-20-2015, 02:41 AM
RE: NEPAL - by tectak - 05-20-2015, 02:43 AM
RE: NEPAL - by Airlocke - 05-20-2015, 02:48 AM
RE: NEPAL - by Erthona - 05-20-2015, 10:23 AM
RE: NEPAL - by tectak - 05-20-2015, 04:16 PM
RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-20-2015, 05:34 PM
RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 05-20-2015, 05:43 PM
RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-20-2015, 08:06 PM
RE: NEPAL - by Leanne - 05-21-2015, 07:58 AM
RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-21-2015, 09:59 AM
RE: NEPAL - by Leanne - 05-21-2015, 10:21 AM
RE: NEPAL - by billy - 05-21-2015, 03:06 PM
RE: NEPAL - by just mercedes - 05-21-2015, 03:22 PM
RE: NEPAL - by RiverNotch - 05-21-2015, 07:35 PM
RE: NEPAL - by srijantje - 05-21-2015, 09:51 PM



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