05-14-2015, 01:09 AM
Beautiful revision, Mercedes. More economy, more clarity. Just tighter.
My only call out, and this is purely subjective, is wondering if you really need this line (I understand why you might keep it):
She says I’m too young to help.
Best,
Todd
My only call out, and this is purely subjective, is wondering if you really need this line (I understand why you might keep it):
She says I’m too young to help.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson