Do Not Hate the Raven

[ellajam]

Hi, Stalwart, welcome to the site and thank you for the critiques you've given to others.

I'm no expert but I believe you were aiming for iambic tetrameter and have fallen prey to poetic wishful thinking, something I am expert at. I'll point out some inconsistencies for you below marking the beginning accents at the start of the first few lines. Try reading it aloud or recording it, that can help.

From what I've been learning a sonnet usually has two sides (a turn in the point view) and a concluding couplet. This poem seems a bit one note to me.

It also seems like a narrative with rhymes, for me it is lacking any emotion or action or even humor, just very dry. Aside from the mythological note at the start it seems to be short on poetic devices, the language used is not very interesting or pleasing, IMO.

My suggestion is to go to our Poetry Exercises forum and read Leanne's Sonnet explanation and thread on meter. She is an excellent teacher and may provide what your teacher did not.

The little  children fear the Death Eater
Known as raven, for one purpose bred.
Fated to scour the fields of Demeter,
He cleanses the Earth; rids it of the dead.
Can you see the problem?

The raven is naught but nature’s blessing.
Superstition sullies his good intent;
He becomes symbolic and depressing
Because we dislike his genetic bent.

The raven did not choose his vocation,
Yet we see his labor as a foul sin.
Black wings above create trepidation;
Black birds remind us of death’s ghastly grin.

Though he is no evil apparition,
The raven is cursed by our tradition.

I wrote this as a sonnet for a creative writing course in college. I got an unsatisfactory grade on it, but the teacher didn't tell me why. His only written critique was that the last couplet was the best part. I thought the couplet was the worst part, so I don't think I'm thinking about poetry correctly.
Hopefully you all can provide a more detailed critique than my teacher's. I want to get better at writing poetry! I'm obsessed with it, because I never had spectacular grades on it in my creative writing course. It really burns me up.

I hope this helps a bit, and that you enjoy working on this, sonnets can be fun.