05-05-2015, 08:32 PM
Quote:The little children fear the Death Eater
Known as raven, for one purpose bred.
Fated to scour the fields of Demeter,
He cleanses the Earth; rids it of the dead.
The raven is naught but nature’s blessing.
Superstition sullies his good intent;
He becomes symbolic and depressing
Because we dislike his genetic bent.
The raven did not choose his vocation,
Yet we see his labor as a foul sin.
Black wings above create trepidation;
Black birds remind us of death’s ghastly grin.
Though he is no evil apparition,
The raven is cursed by our tradition.
I wrote this as a sonnet for a creative writing course in college. I got an unsatisfactory grade on it, but the teacher didn't tell me why. His only written critique was that the last couplet was the best part. I thought the couplet was the worst part, so I don't think I'm thinking about poetry correctly.
Hopefully you all can provide a more detailed critique than my teacher's. I want to get better at writing poetry! I'm obsessed with it, because I never had spectacular grades on it in my creative writing course. It really burns me up.