05-03-2015, 09:56 PM
RiverNotch,
An interesting piece: i'm not sure I understand this in totality... for me it's a bit like a Picasso painting, cubism in lyrical form.... I imagine everyone sees and understands the work differently.
I see images of people caught and imprisoned for different crimes, some who have been sold out on by their "friends" for self gain.
Strangely the imagery of the lines :
"A toothpick thin wife and two kids:
she knows he's third in the line,
while the young ones think
he's in some business trip."
brings to mind almost a holocaust-like sort of feel for me.
Or maybe this is about some really brutal prison somewhere in the far east.
This possibility is in the imagery of the lines:
"He thought the bags had only rice,
but that's not what his 'friends' said,
when they were granted freedom
in exchange for dragging him to seventh place."
Then there is the imagery of some really bloody violence that I catch a glimpse of in the ending:
"she wonders why
she's covered in blood,
but unlike the others, still breathing."
Its an interesting overall juxtapositioning of images for me, even if I am viewing this in bits and snatches and don't really see the whole picture.
I wonder whether I've understood it at all?
Intrigued.
-Psyve
P.S. Incidentally a very small suggestion: "he's in some business trip" would probably read better as " he's on some business trip"
An interesting piece: i'm not sure I understand this in totality... for me it's a bit like a Picasso painting, cubism in lyrical form.... I imagine everyone sees and understands the work differently.
I see images of people caught and imprisoned for different crimes, some who have been sold out on by their "friends" for self gain.
Strangely the imagery of the lines :
"A toothpick thin wife and two kids:
she knows he's third in the line,
while the young ones think
he's in some business trip."
brings to mind almost a holocaust-like sort of feel for me.
Or maybe this is about some really brutal prison somewhere in the far east.
This possibility is in the imagery of the lines:
"He thought the bags had only rice,
but that's not what his 'friends' said,
when they were granted freedom
in exchange for dragging him to seventh place."
Then there is the imagery of some really bloody violence that I catch a glimpse of in the ending:
"she wonders why
she's covered in blood,
but unlike the others, still breathing."
Its an interesting overall juxtapositioning of images for me, even if I am viewing this in bits and snatches and don't really see the whole picture.
I wonder whether I've understood it at all?
Intrigued.
-Psyve
P.S. Incidentally a very small suggestion: "he's in some business trip" would probably read better as " he's on some business trip"