Atman

[Todd]

I'm not an expert on what feels like a Hindu meditation or allegory. I'll still make an attempt. The title does a good job of fixing us in the right frame of mind to approach the poem. Even with out it you would get a sense of the ideas as this feels like a spiritual allegory or parable of sorts. Some comments below on the execution.

Atman




On your right,
said the docent,

You will see a man reposed
Against an oak.--The capitalization feels out of place given how you've handled the rest of the lines.


His wizened face
catching the dense shade
from the wooded canopy

but the path beneath him is lit--something out of step with nature, more of a way of saying he is on the right or correct path. His way of life is correct, or at least that's how I took it. That said, I think you need to find a way to imply the lit path in another way maybe the sunlight through the branches marking out the steps (staying with the image). I think these types of poems work better as meditations which lose their force if they are laid bare in the interpretation.




And on your left
you may find a past--I realize that all of this right and left could be pointed at the same speaker. I think the poem though really loses some force here. We need to see another man not an abstract past or a later landfill of memory. We need the contrast to have the same look at this feel that the first part had.

there is much there
a landfill of memory




Keep your eyes closed
mind open
and we may spot the future--the future feels too abstract too, and not the right payoff (subjective on my part I know).



It’s rumored to dwell in these woods

Obviously just things to consider. I hope some of it helps.

Best,

Todd