Cathy! Edit #1

[RiverNotch]

This is someone's fault for writing about Zombie poetry. Hahahaha wait this is about Wuthering Heights? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Okay, laughter done, time to begin.

I’ll wait down by the river I TOOK HER HAND JUST LIKE MY DAUGHTER WON'T.....er, nevermind.
where willow leaves lay a yellow shroud The internal rhyme here works beautifully.
over water, and slow clouds seem to catch I'm a bit irked by the lack of a "the" before the "water".
on bare-armed trees. From the cemetery wall Comma at the end, here.
I’ll watch the sun slink down behind
Monaro hills, throwing shadows that creep "Monaro hills"? Eh? I don't remember Wuthering Heights being set down under.
over the plain, towing darkness. That's a very grand but stark image; perfect if you really are talking about WH here!
I’ll wait until night takes over Maybe a comma here, at the end? And I'm again irked by a lack of article....the rhythm, I think, won't be hurt by it.
and the evening chorus has quietened. "has quietened" sounds rather prosaic, especially in terms of the stresses. Maybe "and the evening chorus quiets down"?
I’ll strain to hear you coming, to see The enjambment here is a bit awful. Not a very clean or tense break....
you break away from the dark ....but if you moved "to see" here, the rhythm will be a bit off. Maybe change "from the dark", since by my reading, the spondee "-way from" forms a rather awkward caesura, and with that gone, "to see you break away...." would no longer be so slowed.
and step to me, smiling, your hand I can't help but feel that this line is crammed a bit too much with images. Perhaps if "and step to me" was broken in two, as "your hand held out to touch" is so broken?
held out to touch mine. This time Comma at the end.
take me with you. I’ll wait. Maybe a colon instead of the earlier period?


Suggested re-lining of the last two sentences:


"I'll strain to hear you coming,
to see you break away
from the dark, and step
to me, smiling, with your hand
held out to touch mine. This time,
take me with you: I'll wait."


Otherwise, plain in its beauty, this poem, like its eponym, and very sweet, too, though unfortunately not as bat-poop crazy (hehe). Thanks for the great read!