Accommodations

[hopefularahant]

                                       Accommodations

 
 
 
There are no shadows, I'm sitting in the soft light,
waiting for my doctor to come.
Just one. All by himself, he comes in,
like I'm not important and he's not afraid
or anything. I could be anyone
or no one.
And he'll just come in and ask a few questions
and look me over, make a new appointment
for a follow-up exam.
But if I was a prisoner, or had some strange rash,
he might take caution, even smile a canned smile,
not real or fake.
Some really strange rash,
something scary:
even experts don't know everything
and have waited their whole lives for this not to happen,
but are excited and tell their friends.

I really like the idea behind the peom, and i have definitely felt similar every dreaded visit to the doctor. That being said, i feel like changing up the line lengths to be a little more similar wouldnt be hard, and would greatly improve the rhythm. Also, though i get an image of the doctors office, im not really FEELING anything. Like you have the makings of a great sort of depressed patient poem, but i dont feel it yet. Just my opinion. And im not sure if the "or anything" line was supposed to be "of anything" or what, but thats just a side note.