04-26-2015, 04:07 AM
Thank you 
I definitely read everything between the lines, and I really appreciate the critique! I'm glad it's harsh haha.
I live in the South and I tried to express the dialect the best way. Obviously it failed haha
I was admitted to a mental hospital by mistake(long, but hilarious story), and the poem is based around one .of the patients. I didn't really want to explain that because I figured I'd let the poem tell it, and it obviously wasn't clear enough haha.
As for the rhythmic quality, I'm not too sure. It seems different in sections...
I definitely read everything between the lines, and I really appreciate the critique! I'm glad it's harsh haha. I live in the South and I tried to express the dialect the best way. Obviously it failed haha
I was admitted to a mental hospital by mistake(long, but hilarious story), and the poem is based around one .of the patients. I didn't really want to explain that because I figured I'd let the poem tell it, and it obviously wasn't clear enough haha.
As for the rhythmic quality, I'm not too sure. It seems different in sections...