Five Round Petals
#2
Overall, it seems a tad wordy, so if I were you, I would try and be a little more brief without compromising the feeling the poem's language moving as fast as the experiences occurring. However, I like the ending where your fingers and those petals are meeting, because it conveys your mindfulness to the moment and its fleeting nature.
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Messages In This Thread
Five Round Petals - by ellz483 - 04-24-2015, 01:04 AM
RE: Five Round Petals - by proteus24 - 04-24-2015, 05:11 PM
RE: Five Round Petals - by bena - 04-26-2015, 05:41 AM
RE: Five Round Petals - by i.might.be.a.bit.sad - 04-26-2015, 10:14 AM
RE: Five Round Petals - by Anne - 05-01-2015, 05:16 AM



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