Tis a Grand Day to Die

[billy]

you are what this site looks for, you take the feedback well and don't pontificate how right your work is. that said, it isn't a failure, and you have failed in certain parts. you wrote a poem in need of a few edits. we all write poetry the same way. [okay one or two here are extreemely good and need few if any edits. but in general we're mainly of the same ilk.
we're also fine with showing a thought process after you've had a certain amount of feedback,

welcome to the forum.

I appreciate the critique. Being new here (or any forum) I'm not sure if it is proper to explain my thought process. It does make me look at this from different angles. The most troubling angle for me is my obvious failed attempt at using adequate metaphors. Granted it has a Gaelic rings, but the intent was more "old style" military -- my 1st failure ---
It was pointed out the line --- "For it is now that must be dealt with" -- "it is just wrong" - If I might ask (again I am not disputing the statement- rather seeming clarification). The lines leading up to this talks of "Tomorrow" and "Today" ---- so "NOW" was an attempt to convey the "Present" -- and perhaps Present would have worked better.

As far as the "Sabers" not being a proper weapon - that again was a failed attempt on my part "Than to raise your saber high" --- was another failed attempt. Raising a Sabers high is just symbolic of an attack -- the intent was to emphasize the action -- not the weapon.  "Set your sights on High" and "Lock and load and cinch up tight" are more modern military terms. This really had no time frame.  

Bena pointed out if I'm going to die, I want to know why. I couldn't agree more --- Again another failed attempt.

"The demons that set our souls afire"
"And makes the weak ones cry"
"Stands before us in battle dress"

The demons were meant to be any enemy that was capable of setting fire to the soul of a brave person and make the less brave cry --- and they stood ready to attack --- in their "battle dress" -- So again -- the intent or reason to die -- could be called  the enemy outside your door --  

Again, I appreciate the critique and will give it another "stab" --