Summer in Bed-Stuy

[bena]

I love the concept. Many of my friends speak spanglish, so I have no problem with that...it just all seems to random and disconnected. I can't really see the string that connects everything....Perhaps it needs just a bit more fleshing out. I'm sure your goal was to keep it sparse, so I hate to suggest that....but you need to give the reader enough information to draw a conclusion (even if it isn't the one you intended) --at this point I haven't had enough to draw anything.

Good luck on your revision, i'm really excited to see just where this one goes!!

cheers,
mel.