Abandoned
#4
(04-13-2015, 02:39 AM)71degrees Wrote:  I
Inside my house, the many walls,
all these things interrupting other things

Outside my house, the lines
of my poems, walking on them

II
I see something random
in the garden, nameless

Shoots of new tulips,
a cock-necked starling
Reading the first line, I was worried that this would be a grammatically tortured angst poem, but actually it's almost the opposite. It's brisk, imagistic, and witty, with perfectly placed commas. It reads like a William Carlos Williams in its deceptively simple language and presentation. It's a landscape with a world beneath it, if that makes sense. Thank you for the readSmile
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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Messages In This Thread
Abandoned - by 71degrees - 04-13-2015, 02:39 AM
RE: Abandoned - by makeshift - 04-13-2015, 02:18 PM
RE: Abandoned - by 71degrees - 04-14-2015, 12:34 AM
RE: Abandoned - by makeshift - 04-14-2015, 01:39 PM
RE: Abandoned - by heslopian - 04-14-2015, 05:50 AM
RE: Abandoned - by aland88 - 04-14-2015, 06:53 AM
RE: Abandoned - by 71degrees - 04-17-2015, 12:04 AM
RE: Abandoned - by bena - 04-17-2015, 01:49 AM
RE: Abandoned - by 71degrees - 04-18-2015, 12:53 AM
RE: Abandoned - by bena - 04-18-2015, 06:09 AM
RE: Abandoned - by TimeOut - 04-23-2015, 04:12 PM
RE: Abandoned - by 71degrees - 04-24-2015, 02:29 AM



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