Litmus
#2
(04-05-2015, 05:24 AM)A.H.Lavender Wrote:  
(04-04-2015, 11:09 AM)71degrees Wrote:  You do love me
but I have proof
that sometimes
you do not:
love me
pen and paper
accusations  -------------ellipses or dash
much white space.

L3--the line break at do is awkward, and my editing altered it.
Your poem, for all its brevity, has an appeal that many can relate to. It can easily be morphed into a senryu, should you desire.
Thanks, AHL…appreciate the look. Like the dash suggestion. Thanks for that. Trying to stay away from prose in the front half.
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Messages In This Thread
Litmus - by 71degrees - 04-04-2015, 11:09 AM
RE: Litmus - by bena - 04-06-2015, 03:42 AM
RE: Litmus - by 71degrees - 04-06-2015, 11:44 AM



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