Midnight Afloat

[LorettaYoung]

This is my first sonnet.
Midnight Afloat
She wishes to take a midnight stroll in town, She takes a midnight stroll to town
to catch the sight of what is going to change. To see what  is going to change.
A mellow smile with a twinkle in the eyes remains, A mellow smile and twinkling eyes remain.
she clutches the faith and belief with fearless eyes.
The scars of vanity embrace the doubt of the past,
a bottle of teary history is gone with rain.This is confusing. Is it a bottle of liquor? How gone with the rain?
She gazes at the sky and wonders where is the pain,
the abyss of blue speaks the joy with spark.
A ride on the metro leads to a different will,
the pressure below the surface whispers to her mind.
“Do not be afraid.” the old man smirks with the pill,
“Are we predestined to find the essence of life? ”
The memory goes and the stream of time will flow,
and the fragment of fear will shade into countless roads.

Hi: above is a sample that if you eliminate some unnecessary words it is simpler to understand and better sentence structure.
Congratulations on trying your first sonnet,  there is great instruction material on this site which will help you. Good luck. Loretta