a kiss

[Richie C]

I have been trying some less structured stuff and am confused with where to take it. Looking at something too much one loses perspective, so would love some feedback. Also - this subject, a kiss, can become cliche quickly so I'm trying to figure out how best to go about it. Thanks for any critique!

A kiss
A delicate hand-written message
speaks in heavy-breath metaphor,
punctuated by eyes.

A touch signs the letter -
I eagerly await to read, boldly written in
fluent body language.

Lips say more when unattached to words.
Closing our eyes –
we converse.

I find this poem simple yet elegant, creative but very understandable. I get it. great imagery. Really captured the emotion and the true essence of a true kiss. "lips say more when unattached to words. Closing our eyes - we converse." Love this line, really captures the essence of a true kiss for me. All in all I really like your poem and think it would appeal to many people, I'm not a professor of English however so what would I know. Lol

I would not change the letter line, it's a message signed with a touch, the signals she or he was sending seemed to really be sent home with a touch. I was always told you know a girl likes you If she touches you so for me the the touch signing the letter is the culmination of the two peoples flirtations or courtship or watever u wanna call it coming to the climax. The emotions boiling over at this point would only be ruined with words so they speak with body language getting closer and closer till finally they close their eyes- and converse. Beautiful poem, sorry but I wudnt Change much other than grammar