03-28-2015, 06:35 AM
(03-27-2015, 08:28 AM)summermoose Wrote: I have been trying some less structured stuff and am confused with where to take it. Looking at something too much one loses perspective, so would love some feedback. Also - this subject, a kiss, can become cliche quickly so I'm trying to figure out how best to go about it. Thanks for any critique!
A kiss
A delicate hand-written message
speaks in heavy-breath metaphor,
punctuated by eyes.
A touch signs the letter -
I eagerly await to read, boldly written in
fluent body language.
Lips say more when unattached to words.
Closing our eyes –
we converse.
Hi - for me, your poem is the final stanza. The first two were just warm-up exercises for you. The three lines, with their near-rhyme, really work well on their own.