Marathon-edit 2 (tectak, ellijam, Bena, billy)

[LorettaYoung]

Hi loretta,
after this you will have 2 weeks of grace as we are off to the highlands of Scotland. It is nothing you said.
Easy rhymes are moon,spoon, june,croon, wine, vine(harrumph)...so simple that they are predictable. I once found and used a rhyme that I loved as soon as it came to me. This is not braggart...it is just to indicate the difference. Scene. Churchyard, graves of dead sailors lost at sea in a tragic and arguably  avoidable accident:

Inland most lie, beneath black yews;
the rest were swept to sea.
Good seamen all, none would accuse,
for all is destiny.

I hope you see why these are not "easy" rhymes, but they are  loveable.

eroding is fine..BUT you cannot say  "TO" eroding. That is why I said, indicatively, I am going to sleeping!

By the way, writing poor poetry takes no time at all. You have the time. Write good

poetry...but keep it simple to start with...it is faster that way. The title of this poem is becoming increasingly germane
Best,
tectak

Hi tectak; First let me wish you a very good vacation. I wanted to answer what you wrote about emphasis before I forget it since you will be away. I do not hear a lack of or interruption of emphasis in the last couplet, although they are off one syllable. I think specific words carry emphasis, like the dastardly, excommunicated word Bold, cast aside for the dull observe. And speaking of Eros, the god of love, I open and close the poem with that thought; why would it be irrelevant. And I do appreciate your comments on imagination and imagery, a treasure to me; Now I'd like to work on some lyricism and rhythm; another marathon.

Anyway, marathon, yes very funny, germane. Thanks again, have a great one, feet in the sun. Best Loretta

Loretta,
I believe that you may have some mild form of word blindness. I make this point seriously and non-judgementaly. In your kind reply above it is quite apparent to me that you do not distinguish between the word "Bold" and what I know that you mean, and know that you know, should be be "behold". This explains a good deal. Perhaps it is only necessary to suggest that you work meticulously through your written work to "spot" what seem to be obvious errors. I note that in your replys to me, not up for critique, you create the same strange syntactical and grammatical oddities as in your poetry...yet you make few spelling mistakes.
I know you will ask me to clarify. You wrote above" I do not hear a lack of or interruption of emphasis in the last couplet, although they are off one syllable. " Can you see the problem?
Small beer,  not to worry, but worth thinking about.
Feet in the sun? I think not. At the moment, it is rain when above 5 degrees, snow and hail most of the time, winds up to 75mph and night temperatures of -6 degrees. Looking forward to it immensely as the weather is usually much worse.
Best,
tectak

Behold, I need new glasses, tectak, and am not the greatest typist, nor poet. I hope you get some enjoyable rest then, indoors of course. Best Loretta