03-19-2015, 11:46 AM
In song. sometimes, a plain message can be iterated, described, and used to some success (eg. most love songs) because the mood of the music carries the listener through the feeling. However in a poem the reader expects to be taken through the feelings with each word you choose for your story and message. And if originally written as a song, I think it may be hard for you right now to disconnect the way you feel when you perform it in music and the way a neutral reader feels when he or she reads it. To you the lines may pack much more emotion than they can convey through a silent screen to us as readers.