03-17-2015, 05:15 PM
i'll reiterate that i too had trouble with the block writing of the piece and wonder if it's just the formatting.
there are some good phrases and there seems to be some internal rhythm going on that lift it out of being prose but i'd like to see it in an easier, more readable format.
there are some good phrases and there seems to be some internal rhythm going on that lift it out of being prose but i'd like to see it in an easier, more readable format.
(03-14-2015, 09:47 PM)first_high_of_the_day Wrote: My pitiful eyes lie in surprise, for the world is all around me. So softly stuck inside a jar, they found a lie and marked it with my name. They saw me? No, but status quo stuffed deeply to the lid. These eyes of lies, so lost inside, creeped out then left me in. I found myself not stuck but stocked, unable to begin. Such mass perspective lost, and as such, was mass perspective gained. What wasn't in my view, from twilight view was framed. From finite to infinity, the seen became the scene, creating what I could think, what I could write, what I could read, and what little I could form, formed me. Not only what I wasn't, but what I wasn't supposed to be. So, desperately, my eyes, like water from the sea, slowly returned to me from far off mountains through tiny streams, and, finally, I can see.