03-13-2015, 02:31 PM
it's not called common meter for nothing. i think the person said a poet should know about meter. i agree, usually it's our understanding of a subject that allows us to play with it. not knowing (at least ) the basics usually shows us to be a new or inexperienced poet. something we can all attest to being at some stage in our journey.
the poem;
let's remember this is the serious forum so you have to expect pretty much [total honesty]
do i like it? in places yes
is it a good poem? not in the slightest though that could be a little harsh.
i pretty much like the first verse though only as a fancy. it feel like a for fun piece and unless polished ie; consistent meter, be it common or other, i'd also hope for it to be at least double in length i also see that the woman speaks of the man in the 2nd and 3rd person. as the third person i'd suggest using some device to show the last verse as more of a thought. all in all it's a bit of double talk wrapped in a poem.
the poem;
let's remember this is the serious forum so you have to expect pretty much [total honesty]
do i like it? in places yes
is it a good poem? not in the slightest though that could be a little harsh.
i pretty much like the first verse though only as a fancy. it feel like a for fun piece and unless polished ie; consistent meter, be it common or other, i'd also hope for it to be at least double in length i also see that the woman speaks of the man in the 2nd and 3rd person. as the third person i'd suggest using some device to show the last verse as more of a thought. all in all it's a bit of double talk wrapped in a poem.
(03-12-2015, 02:54 PM)lacan123 Wrote: A Modest Proposal
My Lady:
If I on penitent knee should bend
(My visage long with sorrow)
Would then my Lady condescend
To blow me in the ‘morrow? on the morrow,
Sir:
I find myself not so inclined
Toward your mooted notion;
I regret the morning will not find extra half foot,
My head bowed in devotion.
My Lady:
Fortunate he, who has no qualms
With solitary aberration; off meter
But rather celebrates the charms off meter
Of autoerotic asphyxiation. well off meter.