03-12-2015, 04:57 PM
The first stanza is in common meter. Alternating lines of iambic tetrameter and iambic trimeter with an ABAB rhyme pattern. S2 L3 diverges from this as it is a line of iambic pentameter. By the third stanza we have gone off the Reservation.
Fortunate he, who has no qualms dactyl-trochee-iamb-iamb
With solitary aberration; iambic tetrameter
But rather celebrates the charms spondee-iambic-iambic-iambic
Of autoerotic asphyxiation. I have no idea and I gave you the "tion" stress.
Well, OK! This is a humorous poem, do we need to be so picky about the meter: yes and no. Aside form the fact that this is in serious where we examine every chest hair and anal cavity, the fact that this poem starts off with a consistent and well known form (common meter) through the first six lines of twelve lines. That a particular form is followed for so long sets up the reader to expect it to continue, when it does not it is disruptive to the reading of the poem, that is, it lessens the poem. The reader gets more focused on the idea that he tripped over S2L3 than he is focused on the poem. After that the poem never returns to it's previous form. S3L2 is in iambic tetrameter, except it is suppose to be in iambic trimeter and of course beyond that it just becomes meter vomit. Personally, I like the last line and the lack of meter does not bother me as it has it's own rhythm, but I am uncertain if that would be true if the meter had been maintained, or is only so because it wasn't.
What this indicates is a lack of workable knowledge about meter and what was done by meter was done primarily by ear. To call oneself a poet, one must at least possess competency in all the standard metrical forms, not only for ones integrity, but also it is a necessary understanding when one moves away from formal poetry and into non-meter rhythmical forms of poetry. To approach such poetic forms without such understanding is to at best give an unaware and superficial treatment.
Although humorous, the poem is not altogether original.
There are a number of cliche, that may or may not benefit the poem.
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If I on penitent knee should bend Dost thou mean bow? Knees bend, men bow.
(My visage long with sorrow)
Would then my Lady condescend
To blow me in the ‘morrow? How does one blow one in the morrow, "on" possibly?
I find myself not so inclined
Toward your mooted notion; Why is this notion debatable? "hateful?"
I regret the morning will not find Why would she regret it? She does not want to do it?
My head bowed in devotion.
Fortunate he, who has no qualms
With solitary aberration;
But rather celebrates the charms
Of autoerotic asphyxiation.
____________________________________________________________________________
Welcome to the site,
Dale
Fortunate he, who has no qualms dactyl-trochee-iamb-iamb
With solitary aberration; iambic tetrameter
But rather celebrates the charms spondee-iambic-iambic-iambic
Of autoerotic asphyxiation. I have no idea and I gave you the "tion" stress.
Well, OK! This is a humorous poem, do we need to be so picky about the meter: yes and no. Aside form the fact that this is in serious where we examine every chest hair and anal cavity, the fact that this poem starts off with a consistent and well known form (common meter) through the first six lines of twelve lines. That a particular form is followed for so long sets up the reader to expect it to continue, when it does not it is disruptive to the reading of the poem, that is, it lessens the poem. The reader gets more focused on the idea that he tripped over S2L3 than he is focused on the poem. After that the poem never returns to it's previous form. S3L2 is in iambic tetrameter, except it is suppose to be in iambic trimeter and of course beyond that it just becomes meter vomit. Personally, I like the last line and the lack of meter does not bother me as it has it's own rhythm, but I am uncertain if that would be true if the meter had been maintained, or is only so because it wasn't.
What this indicates is a lack of workable knowledge about meter and what was done by meter was done primarily by ear. To call oneself a poet, one must at least possess competency in all the standard metrical forms, not only for ones integrity, but also it is a necessary understanding when one moves away from formal poetry and into non-meter rhythmical forms of poetry. To approach such poetic forms without such understanding is to at best give an unaware and superficial treatment.
Although humorous, the poem is not altogether original.
There are a number of cliche, that may or may not benefit the poem.
__________________________________________________________
If I on penitent knee should bend Dost thou mean bow? Knees bend, men bow.
(My visage long with sorrow)
Would then my Lady condescend
To blow me in the ‘morrow? How does one blow one in the morrow, "on" possibly?
I find myself not so inclined
Toward your mooted notion; Why is this notion debatable? "hateful?"
I regret the morning will not find Why would she regret it? She does not want to do it?
My head bowed in devotion.
Fortunate he, who has no qualms
With solitary aberration;
But rather celebrates the charms
Of autoerotic asphyxiation.
____________________________________________________________________________
Welcome to the site,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.