Osprey
#6
Hello Mark,

Thank you for the feedback and the pdf link, I will be reviewing the information today.

Take care,
John

Hello Dale,

Thank you for taking the feedback.

(03-06-2015, 12:27 PM)Erthona Wrote:  Personally I like the "Blue" it gives it color Smile  Seriously though, it does. I have no idea what a blue osprey is, but I like the image it conveys.

"sailing" seems redundant.

"captured my heart"  Seems a bit trite I agree (although I don't know how it could be more trite) Stole Thumbsup . I have no idea what to replace it with and probably wouldn't tell you if I did, but that simply will not do. I like the overall concept of the poem, but there seem to be major revision needed, especially as regards that last line. Then again I'm not that big of a fan of these pseudo-haiku poems, or haiku, so take what I say wearily (aka "with a grain of salt"). I appreciate your opinion.
Take care,
John
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Osprey - by Deadrise - 03-05-2015, 12:05 PM
RE: Osprey - by Magpie - 03-06-2015, 12:15 AM
RE: Osprey - by Deadrise - 03-06-2015, 03:47 AM
RE: Osprey - by Magpie - 03-06-2015, 09:04 AM
RE: Osprey - by Erthona - 03-06-2015, 12:27 PM
RE: Osprey - by Deadrise - 03-08-2015, 12:45 AM
RE: Osprey - by toxic. - 03-08-2015, 03:54 AM
RE: Osprey - by Deadrise - 03-08-2015, 07:43 AM
RE: Osprey - by bena - 03-08-2015, 11:50 PM
RE: Osprey - by Leah S. - 03-17-2015, 01:20 AM



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!