03-08-2015, 12:45 AM
Hello Mark,
Thank you for the feedback and the pdf link, I will be reviewing the information today.
Take care,
John
Hello Dale,
Thank you for taking the feedback.
John
Thank you for the feedback and the pdf link, I will be reviewing the information today.
Take care,
John
Hello Dale,
Thank you for taking the feedback.
(03-06-2015, 12:27 PM)Erthona Wrote: Personally I like the "Blue" it gives it colorTake care,Seriously though, it does. I have no idea what a blue osprey is, but I like the image it conveys.
"sailing" seems redundant.
"captured my heart" Seems a bit trite I agree (although I don't know how it could be more trite) Stole. I have no idea what to replace it with and probably wouldn't tell you if I did, but that simply will not do. I like the overall concept of the poem, but there seem to be major revision needed, especially as regards that last line. Then again I'm not that big of a fan of these pseudo-haiku poems, or haiku, so take what I say wearily (aka "with a grain of salt"). I appreciate your opinion.
John


Seriously though, it does. I have no idea what a blue osprey is, but I like the image it conveys.