Weaving in the Dark

[Keith]

Hi Feb, you have some fresh and interesting lines that give the reader a connection with a well covered theme, I think you could improve this with a brutal cut that drops out unnecessary lines and forced rhymes. I hope you don't mind as this is in mild but I have done a hard edit of your poem below, no changes just cuts to show you what I mean, hope it works. Keith

It all came gushing out,
all the years I tucked beneath
and though they hardly spilled,
the drops that sailored down my cheeks
would never ever go!

I knew him like a verse
tattooed across my bones,
his words would charge and bruise my flesh:
a hurricane of stones.
I wish I could have said
he never fucked me quite as right
and now I'm all alone,
curved inside his eye

Good-bye, good-bye,

good-bye!