Ardea herodias

[Brownlie]

Hello Brownlie,

Based on your feedback I reworked
His eyes of onyx peer into the pool

This is what I came up with
His onxy eyes they peer into the pool

Does that sound/work better in your opinion?

Thanks,
John

His onyx eyeballs? The problem with "they" (In my opinion) is that it doesn't add much except maybe adding a frightened tone in a speaker who has to return to the referent of the eyes. If it was me, I would rework it somehow.