02-16-2015, 04:12 AM
Great Blue (rev2)
An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough
with onyx eyes he peers into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
Aloft on bony stilts he strides with grace
inspecting every likely hiding place
on watch for signs of movement out of place.
In time his patient stalking brings reward
prepared, his neck contorts in reflex mode,
one more primeval contest to behold.
Abruptly interrupted by a foe
the creature wary, spews a wretched sound,
a raspy “kraak” before he leaves the ground.
An attempt at smoothing things out both in sound and flow.
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Rev 1
Great Blue
An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough,
His eyes of onyx peer into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
Aloft on bony stilts he slinks along,
In time his patient stalking brings reward,
His prey by movement gave itself away.
Prepared, his neck contorts in reflex mode,
one more primeval contest to unfold,
abruptly interrupted by a foe.
the creature wary, spews a wretched noise
a raspy “kraak” before he flies away
propelled by mighty wings in weighty beat.
My goal in this exercise was to assemble 9 or more verses written in Iambic Pentameter that made at the least some sense. (at least that was my goal)
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An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough,
His eyes of onyx peer into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
In time his patient stalking brings reward,
His prey by movement gives itself away.
Prepared his neck contorts in reflex mode,
as bony hinged stilts begin to tense
one more primeval contest to behold.
At once interrupted spooked by a noise
the creature wary throats an ominous noise,
a gos a kraak before he flies away.
This poem was composed with the intent of learning meter.
An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough
with onyx eyes he peers into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
Aloft on bony stilts he strides with grace
inspecting every likely hiding place
on watch for signs of movement out of place.
In time his patient stalking brings reward
prepared, his neck contorts in reflex mode,
one more primeval contest to behold.
Abruptly interrupted by a foe
the creature wary, spews a wretched sound,
a raspy “kraak” before he leaves the ground.
An attempt at smoothing things out both in sound and flow.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rev 1
Great Blue
An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough,
His eyes of onyx peer into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
Aloft on bony stilts he slinks along,
In time his patient stalking brings reward,
His prey by movement gave itself away.
Prepared, his neck contorts in reflex mode,
one more primeval contest to unfold,
abruptly interrupted by a foe.
the creature wary, spews a wretched noise
a raspy “kraak” before he flies away
propelled by mighty wings in weighty beat.
My goal in this exercise was to assemble 9 or more verses written in Iambic Pentameter that made at the least some sense. (at least that was my goal)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An ancient creature hunts a stagnant slough,
His eyes of onyx peer into the pool
in search of scattered quarry veiled from view.
In time his patient stalking brings reward,
His prey by movement gives itself away.
Prepared his neck contorts in reflex mode,
as bony hinged stilts begin to tense
one more primeval contest to behold.
At once interrupted spooked by a noise
the creature wary throats an ominous noise,
a gos a kraak before he flies away.
This poem was composed with the intent of learning meter.