02-16-2015, 01:09 AM
I found it difficult
to separate the thoughts
in your poem due to the
short lines running all the
way down the page with no breaks.
After making your lines longer and separate your ideas into versus this poem was much easier for me to read and understand.
Do these statements need to be in here?
She didn't care for Georgia, not so much.
Satin in your glass, won with our hearts
You have became?
My favorite parts:
She asked If you and I, had kept in touch? And how I've been
I shook my head, as I answered, not that much,
things are the same.
She's the one that leaves, but never goes away
she 's the one who need to believe
I'm not the one No I'm not the one she can play
Thanks for posting your work,
John
to separate the thoughts
in your poem due to the
short lines running all the
way down the page with no breaks.
After making your lines longer and separate your ideas into versus this poem was much easier for me to read and understand.
Do these statements need to be in here?
She didn't care for Georgia, not so much.
Satin in your glass, won with our hearts
You have became?
My favorite parts:
She asked If you and I, had kept in touch? And how I've been
I shook my head, as I answered, not that much,
things are the same.
She's the one that leaves, but never goes away
she 's the one who need to believe
I'm not the one No I'm not the one she can play
Thanks for posting your work,
John