Fathers and Sons

[Norimeknowreason]

I too loved this poem, it told a story,without leaving me wondering what your were talking about. I see someone already pointed out my only real critique the "at" sounds out of place. The mend line didn't bother as much but I thought about how you could replace it.

Withering away until the beaten path ends.
Thoughts linger in his mind,
on him his family depends

He has two sons who need him,
working for him at his construction site.
Both strong and able they will be his knights.


Thanks so much for sharing. I thought it was well done and bittersweet.