Pancakes in the Stream(edit 0.001 Billy, Tom, and Ella)

[tectak]

Jumper wrote: "If an image is there, "so clear" how could it be misplaced?"

The implication in the line:

"I know the image is there so clear."

Is that he "knows" it is there, but he cannot recall it. In other words he knows he once had a memory of this clear image, but can no longer recall it. He does not say "I see the image." "Is there" in his memory. Although I will consider that I am placing an undue burden on the reader and that this should be made clearer.

Thanks for your time and comments.

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RiverNotch,

Thanks for the critique, what you say at the last is exactly what I had in mind when I was writing this, so it is nice to have at least one person validate that

"just the addition of one tiny image, connected but distinct, to enhance the reader's visualization of the poem, could really do wonders with this."

I understand what you are saying and such an addition might improve the poem. What I do know is at the moment I've got nothing, but I do understand what you mean. Thanks for the insight.

Dale

....and now, as I am mycologically inclined, I would like to challenge you, dale, to write an equivalent piece on "hair ice". You will need to google it, my hirsute hero.
Best,
tectak