Peace

[RiverNotch]

Thanks for the feedback, ella

The flesh tears, bathes, I believe would be correct. The water being able to tear at the shore yet bathe, which seems gentle to me, is a little hard to accept. It's a little hint at how the symbolism's gonna go, but yeah, I suppose I should have been more consistent. I'll change that line later, when other changes have been considered.

"with" throws me off, maybe more punctuation would help me but I think you could lose it. With also throws me off, but I'm not really sure how to change it (losing it will rob the poem of its, er, syllabic structure) so I'll have to think about that.
Stands. The verb refers to the walls of chalk. Notice that the stanza is just one long sentence. 

Not a fan of quiet. "quiet chest" is sort of integral to the 'surprise' I was talking about....I could change that whole stanza, however, just to get the point across better.
I think coming is wrong, the red comes with dusk, the coming of night. Oh, I get. I'll change that later, too.
Not a fan of juvenile's, it sounds too aloof to me. The fact that it sounds aloof sort of drives the whole symbol, but that idea's really more of an afterthought. That last line is a bit rushed, actually; I'm sure I'm keeping the navel, but for the rest of the line, I'll have to really think about first.