Canned Father (edit2)

Canned Father (edit2)

Leah S. Offline

Senior Member

Posts: 134
Threads: 9
Joined: Dec 2014

#15

01-31-2015, 04:12 AM

It's tightening up nicely. I wasn't sure about adding 'army fatigues' but it alliterates nicely with 'peas' in an internal rhyme sort of way. I'd still lose the capital on "Lima's." There are no Peruvian cities on the plate. I'm sort of sad to lose 'scary' but 'creepy' is okay too. Carry on. Best, Leah

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Messages In This Thread

Canned Father (edit2) - by ChristopherSea - 01-30-2015, 12:44 AM

RE: Canned Father - by Leah S. - 01-30-2015, 03:39 AM

RE: Canned Father - by ChristopherSea - 01-30-2015, 04:41 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by Leah S. - 01-30-2015, 05:54 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by ChristopherSea - 01-30-2015, 06:01 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by Leah S. - 01-30-2015, 06:03 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by ChristopherSea - 01-30-2015, 08:37 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by Brownlie - 01-30-2015, 11:54 PM

RE: Canned Father (edit1) - by ChristopherSea - 01-31-2015, 12:56 AM

RE: Canned Father (edit2) - by Brownlie - 01-31-2015, 01:18 AM