Canned Father (edit2)

[ChristopherSea]

Hey Leah, thanks so much for sharing your time and acumen on this one.
I suppose that I can try 'vegetables' for 'vegetative,' but you are right in that
I was alluding to my Dad's death.
Every meal with those awful canned legumes was a battle for me! I think my Dad
liked them because he ate out of cans during the War. But, why force them on us,
why weren't fresh vegetables a viable substitute? These are questions that I never
asked him. I did serve him only fresh vegetable whenever he came to my house!
I want that break on 'War' but I am glad that a comma can
fix your problem with the line.
I wanted 'canned or jarred' for two reasons: they come in
both and being forced to eat them was absolutely 'jarring'.' It is not filler.
I will consider dropping one maybe.
It's his skin that is burnt sienna in/by late summer because of his deep tan.
I shall insert one of those two prepositions (in/by) for clarity. I need that
reference to his tan.
I had 'lima's' but it looked odd. 'Lima's' may be OK, since they are named 'after 'Lima, Peru.'
I will take another look. I do like 'lamb'-ing those chops though. It paints the
vulnerable child better.
Don't you like the alliteration of botanical bohemoths? I had monsters originally.
Thanks for catching that 'pus' if they actually tasted like 'puss' I would have loved them!!!  
I will have a new edit up shortly based upon your critique. Much obliged./Chris

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Leah edit1 is posted. Thank you kindly!/Chris

You are welcome....I like it very much! I still think that you established the color of his skin with great skill, without the reference to late summer. You've got the beans, burnt sienna, and the bronze statue: all vivid clear images. I still think the 'late summer' image isn't up to the standard you've already set. I think your idea about using 'by' works very well. You might think about 'colored by' since it still scans. I love the alliteration of 'botanical behemoths', but it took my mind off on a tangent, imagining what sort of beast might have boils that were really lima beans. I came back from that excursion safely, but you have to admit, it's a bit off the subject of your poem. I'm not adamantly against you using it, maybe it's just my overly vivid imagination.

OK Leah, I am always up for continuous editing, even if I mark a poem as final version! I will review those points and lines again. Cheers/Chris