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< homeland >
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01-29-2015, 11:23 AM
Really enjoyed this one Ray. My only issue is the occurrences of the word "and". I'm not sure how intentional it was, but I think you could omit or replace some of them even without the use of commas. (I like that you forgo punctuation in the piece, so that's not the route I mean).
Thanks for sharing, Paul |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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< homeland > - by rayheinrich - 01-29-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: < homeland > - by Tiger the Lion - 01-29-2015, 11:23 AM
RE: < homeland > - by just mercedes - 01-29-2015, 11:46 AM
RE: < homeland > - by rayheinrich - 02-01-2015, 05:29 AM
RE: < homeland > - by Erthona - 02-01-2015, 06:48 AM
RE: < homeland > - by rayheinrich - 02-02-2015, 07:52 PM
RE: < homeland > - by Brownlie - 02-01-2015, 11:38 AM
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