NICU, For Dominic Edit #2.1

[milo]

NICU, For Dominic


your dreams a mystery of graphing flares.

this line demonstrates the problem I have with skipping the old "to be" verbs.

of course you could fix it simply enough:

"your dreams are mysteries of graphing flares"

but it would alter the meaning slightly.

Now that I am loitering in your thread, it occurs to me how interesting the concept of machines graphing the mysteries of a newborne's dreams is.  You probably won't have time or inclination, but:

" . . . machines to graph the mysteries of your dreams"

ahh . . . that would be nice.

oh, and one more minor thing, yes, toes as an abacus is brilliant but abacus and fuss isn't a proper rhyme.