Just Write...

[ellajam]

Oh, what fun. I read V1 before and came back to a surprise. So far my preference is for V2 and V3, the long and short of it. V2 is sort of a power walk on a winding path while V3 is a slow stroll with plenty of time to look around. I'm going to give the ones I don't like more time to see if it's just taste and prejudice or if they truly let the poem down as it seems to me now.

A few notes:  

Attached to every word, as though to compensate,are moments, summed and sorted in their turn. In this format I'd drop the comma after moments.
Aglow with  light of reason, fuming condensate illuminates the pages as it burns.

Seared by the charge of cliched clause, the battle 'twixt  wisdom of  vernacular excess
and language made to obfuscate intention, rages whilst protagonists protest.

There is no perfect rhyme, no god-sent pattern; each template placed is used once then degrades.
Words are cast like runes upon a river to float or sink like witches on parade. Interesting, they lose either way?

So throw your soul into the soup semantic, stir up the pottage, simmer to reduce.
Remember aways, taste will be subjective, and that, my friend, will be your best excuse.

or:

Attached to every word,
as though to compensate,
are moments, summed
and sorted in their turn.
Aglow with  light of reason,
fuming condensate
illuminates the pages
as it burns.

Seared by the charge
of cliched clause, the battle
'twixt  wisdom of  I'd drop the of to the next line.
vernacular excess
and language made
to obfuscate intention,
rages whilst The whilst here sticks out, I'd go with while, or something better.
protagonists protest.

There is no perfect rhyme,
no god-sent pattern;
each template placed
is used once then degrades.
Words are cast
like runes upon a river
to float or sink
like witches on parade. I might put "like witches" on the line above.

So throw your soul
into the soup semantic,
stir up the pottage,
simmer to reduce. I might like simmer to end the line above.
Remember aways,
taste will be subjective, Taste would be fun on the line above.
and that, my friend,
will be your best excuse.