01-20-2015, 02:03 AM
(01-20-2015, 12:51 AM)tectak Wrote:My name is a useful one to have, when writing or critiquing(01-20-2015, 12:44 AM)Grace Wrote:Hi grace,(01-19-2015, 01:26 AM)tectak Wrote: Just Write......Thank you for posting this poem. It is very inspiring and draws the reader to re-read it.
Attached to every word, as though to compensate,
are moments, summed and sorted in their turn.
Aglow with light of reason, fuming condensate
illuminates the pages as it burns.
Seared by the charge of cliched clause, the battle
'twixt wisdom of vernacular excess
and language made to obfuscate intention,
rages whilst protagonists protest.
There is no perfect rhyme, no god-sent pattern;
each template placed is used once then degrades.
Words are cast like runes upon a river
to float or sink like witches on parade.
So throw your soul into the soup semantic,
stir up the pottage, simmer to reduce.
Remember aways, taste will be subjective,
and that, my friend, will be your best excuse.
tectak
2014
Or:
Attached to every word, as though to compensate,are moments, summed and sorted in their turn.
Aglow with light of reason, fuming condensate illuminates the pages as it burns.
Seared by the charge of cliched clause, the battle 'twixt wisdom of vernacular excess
and language made to obfuscate intention, rages whilst protagonists protest.
There is no perfect rhyme, no god-sent pattern; each template placed is used once then degrades.
Words are cast like runes upon a river to float or sink like witches on parade.
So throw your soul into the soup semantic, stir up the pottage, simmer to reduce.
Remember aways, taste will be subjective, and that, my friend, will be your best excuse.
or:
Attached to every word,
as though to compensate,
are moments, summed
and sorted in their turn.
Aglow with light of reason,
fuming condensate
illuminates the pages
as it burns.
Seared by the charge
of cliched clause, the battle
'twixt wisdom of
vernacular excess
and language made
to obfuscate intention,
rages whilst
protagonists protest.
There is no perfect rhyme,
no god-sent pattern;
each template placed
is used once then degrades.
Words are cast
like runes upon a river
to float or sink
like witches on parade.
So throw your soul
into the soup semantic,
stir up the pottage,
simmer to reduce.
Remember aways,
taste will be subjective,
and that, my friend,
will be your best excuse.
or:
Attached to every word as though to compensate
Are moments summed and sorted in their turn
Aglow with light of reason fuming condensate
Illuminates the pages as it burns
Seared by the charge of cliched clause the battle
'Twixt wisdom of vernacular excess
And language made to obfuscate intention
Rages whilst protagonists protest.
There is no perfect rhyme no god-sent pattern
Each template placed is used once then degrades
Words are cast like runes upon a river
To float or sink like witches on parade.
So throw your soul into the soup semantic
Stir up the pottage simmer to reduce
Remember aways, taste will be subjective
And that my friend will be your best excuse.
or:
Attached to every word, as though to compensate, are moments, summed and sorted in their turn. Aglow with light of reason, fuming condensate illuminates the pages as it burns. Seared by the charge of cliched clause, the battle 'twixt wisdom of vernacular excess
and language made to obfuscate intention, rages whilst protagonists protest. There is no perfect rhyme, no god-sent pattern; each template placed is used once then degrades.Words are cast like runes upon a river to float or sink like witches on parade.
So throw your soul into the soup semantic, stir up the pottage, simmer to reduce.Remember aways, taste will be subjective, and that, my friend, will be your best excuse.
or:
Attached to every word as though to compensate are moments summed and sorted in their turn aglow with light of reason fuming condensate illuminates the pages as it burns seared by the charge of cliched clause the battle 'twixt wisdom of vernacular excess and language made to obfuscate intention rages whilst protagonists protest there is no perfect rhyme no god-sent pattern each template placed is used once then degrades words are cast like runes upon a river to float or sink like witches on parade so throw your soul into the soup semantic stir up the pottage simmer to reduce remember aways taste will be subjective and that my friend will be your best excuse
Write on.....
If it's words were runes upon the water, alphabet soup may turn into hearty pottage. Stranger things have happened!!G.
you are to be thanked for your nameI oftimes accuse others of writing poetry like alphabet soup...we shall see if this draws them out. Did you have any preferences on form? (Trick question)
Best,
trctak
On to the trick question..(ooer). Well, I can only be honest (while looking at the various presentations of your poem) and say the centre-alignment one might distract me from its content, because I'm thinking how pretty it looks, instead of listening to the words inside it (which may not be pretty). The one with words in a formless sea with no line-breaks or punctuation, repelled me from swimming in it, because there was nothing to hang on to. The others, after reading the first one, were pale in comparison, as I was comparing them to the first one, which would be my preference, as it has a pattern that drums the words home: metre, rhythms, rhyme. The first one stayed in my mind, after reading. The others did not. So, that's an attempt at answering the trick question..Phew! G.


