01-19-2015, 07:27 AM
(10-10-2014, 06:09 AM)Ryan_w_r Wrote: My attempt at what would be considered slam poetry I guess.. Which really only reads correctly in the mind of the writer lol good luck..----------------------------------------
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Political unrest, and riots in our streets.
Circular wars, and scorched earth in the Middle East.
Mothers lying their babies to rest, while fathers are resting in another woman's sheets.
All the while, another child looses their life on the streets.
The media calls them "casualties of war".. To me more like casualties of greed.
Countless lives being lost over things we don't need.
See, what we NEED is an enlightened generation willing to plant a seed.
A seed that will grow in the mind of our youth, And come to fruition in the form of a society that knows only great love and truth.
Because what we have now, well, it doesn't work..
We are a pasteurized and preservative filled prepackaged generation.
Graciously provided by media sponsors and major corporations..
I think this works well and would be great as a slam poem. Some of the lines need honing like "The media calls them "casualties of war".. To me more like casualties of greed.
If you take away the "To me" part it will read smoother. And I'd separate out the two sentences as well.
"A seed that will grow in the mind of our youth, And come to fruition in the form of a society that knows only great love and truth." This could easily be split into two lines and it would make it easier to read.