Dirt

[71degrees]

There was a path at grandma’s camp
that lead down to the lake.
 
In the morning, when the sun was out,
the dew used to wet my feet as I picked blueberries
and gathered kindling.
 
In the afternoon, on summer weekends,
the dog and I would wrestle over a stick in the mud
while the grown-ups played cards on the dock.
 
In the evening, when the sky was clear
and the sauna was hot, the moon would shine
as we ran down the path to jump in the lake.

I will leave all the iambics and counts to others. They seem to have it covered. As for the poem: the movement through the day works well for me. I like the chronology...the sun moving across the narrator's sky. The simplicity, the "aw shucks" attitude is soothingly presented. Small town America is alive here. At the same time, I'm not sure I like the movement within (e.g. do you "need" to tell me it's summer if the kid has bare feet or grown-ups are playing cards on a dock?) Even a little detail like "the moon would shine" is a bit much considering the sky is clear. What else would it do? I like the poem. It reads easy but there's an underlying seriousness of youth beneath the surface. But it needs work. Thanks for posting.