A Deeper Cut

[Leah S.]

Sorry, I forgot that was up there. I looked but somehow missed it. I have not gone over this poem in over two years since I posted it.  Yes, looking at that I agree, not necessarily because of the musical reference (I'm not sure "Mary has a little Lamb" the original not the Stevie Ray Vaughn one is really a musical reference) it is however overdone and needs trimming. That's a good catch, thank you.

Dale

It was the "raised fifth" I was mostly thinking of, as that is a pretty technical musical term, and doesn't really tie in with the rest of the poem. I think you might consider just deleting it.
Best, Leah