01-13-2015, 05:10 PM
Are you a tool at the universe's disposal, or like just a general "tool?"
I believe solipsism is the theme here, along with the mystic supposition in which our internal universe influences the external world, so the first two lines are coherent, at least to me. It's all comprehensible to me, I think. Tthere are some opaque instances, weak metaphors, but it's understandable. That's really the best thing I can say of it though. But, really man, it's not a good poem. I guess I could give a more detailed critique but Dale has pretty much covered most of it.
But if you can really grasp the infinite, that's good, that's great, much more important than writing a good poem, and even more so important because of your forays into solipsism... lol
I believe solipsism is the theme here, along with the mystic supposition in which our internal universe influences the external world, so the first two lines are coherent, at least to me. It's all comprehensible to me, I think. Tthere are some opaque instances, weak metaphors, but it's understandable. That's really the best thing I can say of it though. But, really man, it's not a good poem. I guess I could give a more detailed critique but Dale has pretty much covered most of it.
But if you can really grasp the infinite, that's good, that's great, much more important than writing a good poem, and even more so important because of your forays into solipsism... lol