01-13-2015, 01:14 PM
Well done!
I feel like 'mends' was put there to force a rhyme, and that maybe you could restructure that stanza in a more effective way.
Also, "where he can not be at" is kind of clumsy.
"Both strong and able they will be his knights" could definitely be rephrased in a better way. I like the idea, try to rephrase it to have more ryhthm and power.
I feel like 'mends' was put there to force a rhyme, and that maybe you could restructure that stanza in a more effective way.
Also, "where he can not be at" is kind of clumsy.
"Both strong and able they will be his knights" could definitely be rephrased in a better way. I like the idea, try to rephrase it to have more ryhthm and power.