01-13-2015, 02:53 AM
I like the form you picked as a mean to make the poem non sacred. If you' re going through this unusual verse disposition think about rearrange the rhymes. That would fit with the theme. I personally like rhymes that are not in the end of the words, or are not exactly similar sounds. Creative rhymes.
As a foreign i don't get that use of "alas" . For me sounds archaic, but i dont know. Why is it there?
Sounds like a poem about confidence in art. I'd like to see more clearly about what art stands against in the poem. Death is maybe a cliché, unless you can talk it from life, not from the books.
As a foreign i don't get that use of "alas" . For me sounds archaic, but i dont know. Why is it there?
Sounds like a poem about confidence in art. I'd like to see more clearly about what art stands against in the poem. Death is maybe a cliché, unless you can talk it from life, not from the books.
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