What have we done..

[ThePen]

My attempt at what would be considered slam poetry I guess.. Which really only reads correctly in the mind of the writer lol good luck..


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Political unrest, and riots in our streets.

Circular wars, and scorched earth in the Middle East.

Mothers lying their babies to rest, while fathers are resting in another woman's sheets.

All the while, another child looses their life on the streets.

The media calls them "casualties of war".. To me more like casualties of greed. 

Countless lives being lost over things we don't need.

See, what we NEED is an enlightened generation willing to plant a seed. 

A seed that will grow in the mind of our youth, And come to fruition in the form of a society that knows only great love and truth. 

Because what we have now, well, it doesn't work.. 

We are a pasteurized and preservative filled prepackaged generation.

Graciously provided by media sponsors and major corporations..

It seems to me that you have a lot of things to say. I really enjoyed your poem. I think, however, that it might seem unfinished. Maybe there is a conclusion lacking?

The line "All the while, another child looses their life on the streets." seems a bit of a repetition of the introductory line. But it is good. I like it.
"casualties of war" might be the term that best captures the feel and the tone of your poem.

I like the line "We are pasteurized and preservative filled prepackaged generation".

Generally, I prefer poems with more structure, but I think that your poem flows freely and that it fits the tone and the content of your poem. And as a poster stated, perhaps you could still use to some shortening of your verses. I think that you could definitely benefit from it.