01-04-2015, 03:53 AM
I like your edits very much...but I'm still badly bugged by "bane." It's as if you said "the night is chair." (Due to the fact that the word "bane" is a noun.)
A bane is an archaic term for a thing (or rarely, a person) that has caused the death of someone. You find it in the names of plants used for poison, such as "wolfsbane." The modern usage usually refers to annoyance, discomfort etc, as when someone says, "She is the bane of my existence."
You might consider adding "my" before "bane" and "pains."
Best, Leah
A bane is an archaic term for a thing (or rarely, a person) that has caused the death of someone. You find it in the names of plants used for poison, such as "wolfsbane." The modern usage usually refers to annoyance, discomfort etc, as when someone says, "She is the bane of my existence."
You might consider adding "my" before "bane" and "pains."
Best, Leah