12-30-2014, 08:16 AM
(12-30-2014, 06:53 AM)milo Wrote: because the dead don’t wear shoes...I say they do wear shoes. Discuss.
they can sneak up on you
and breath dryly into your ear
from behind your favourite chair.
they can follow you to distant countries
passing quickly through airport security checks,
ignoring signs to remove their belt and shoes
not left behind like unchecked luggage
because the dead don’t wear shoes
they fold easily from one year to the next
like the pages of a calendar
that doesn't end; perpetual[b] Hmmm."...like the pages(xxxx) that do not end" or " like the pages of a never ending calendar"
they call to you, occasionally
like misbehaving children dancing in the rain
come join us
and lose the weight of shoes.
The poem. Some strangely haunting phrases peppered about...but why can't you fold with shoes on? Sounds good but is it?
I do like the automatic disjointed writing created by lack of punctuation...it adds an other-worldly element to the self-satisfied premises of unsupported statements made by the narrator. If this is not an attribute I am afraid you will need to punctuate to clarity....if only for me.
Best as always,
tectak

