Poetry floats (need a title)
#4
(12-26-2014, 04:59 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  Buddha, wearing straw sandals, was caught
on CCTV cameras in Arizona, racially profiled.
Facebook image-matched him instantly
but couldn’t help at all with Mohammed.
 
The third wise man hung around for a long
holiday weekend then slid up to heaven,
ignoring the growing desert storms,
the current situation in Jerusalem.
 
Poetry floats with Jim in a Parisian bain, bloated;
tethered to a bedroom door with Michael it stumbles
and falls; on a gravel road light falls lightly
as rollcall; the battlefield moon names names nightly.
 
Juggled from Nazareth to Nigeria, mercy struggles.
Deep underground corruption bubbles; poetry floats.
Title suggestion: "Epiphany". I really like the whole premise, but I want to know who "Jim" is, and how "poetry" got from "floating" in a bath in Paris, to being "tethered" ("tethered" made me think of those party balloons - probably because of the segue from "floating;" which in turn made me get stuck on "stumbles") to a bedroom door with "Michael" (the archangel?) and how that condition caused poor poetry to stumble and fall. (Is this a reference to the Original Fall?) For some reason I like "light falls lightly as rollcall" but I still struggle with how fast we are bouncing around. You gave us distinct places from the start, which led me to expect you to keep it up. I get the whole idea, and it moves me. Not sure whether to thank you for my future of imagining my poetry floating on a sea of corruption. Truth.
Reply


Messages In This Thread
Poetry floats (need a title) - by just mercedes - 12-26-2014, 04:59 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by none - 12-26-2014, 09:11 PM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by ellajam - 12-26-2014, 10:21 PM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by Leah S. - 12-27-2014, 02:17 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by just mercedes - 12-27-2014, 04:08 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by ellajam - 12-27-2014, 05:53 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by Leah S. - 01-03-2015, 02:53 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by rayheinrich - 12-27-2014, 06:59 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by Leanne - 12-27-2014, 07:16 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by Leanne - 12-27-2014, 07:24 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by just mercedes - 12-27-2014, 07:36 AM
RE: Poetry floats (need a title) - by Erthona - 01-03-2015, 07:37 AM



Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!