Pancakes in the Stream(edit 0.001 Billy, Tom, and Ella)

[tectak]

Pancakes in the Stream
 
Pancake ice is nice,
so round just like your moon pie face
my dear. I know the image is there
so clear. It seems it’s been misplaced
or seared. My mind is melting away.
 
–Erthona
 
 
 Ice Pancakes
 
 
©2014

Hi dale,
if ever there was a  place for brevity this is it. I am reminded of the paradoxical Dali and his Persistence of Memory. Overwhelmingly the content here reflects the form. What I means is that a piece  such a this is outstanding because of its density. Wonderful work. I am loathe to pick at it except to mark that uniquely Punjabi English tendency to slip in "my dear" as though the Raj was still raging.
Interestingly, uk tv has just run a series of programs on that jolly interesting subject, the weather, my dear. Featured were the ice pancakes....otherwise they would have been a mystery to me.
Metaphor in place, you run with it over a sprintable distance and to be disarmIngly eulogistic....are not out of breath at the finish line. I still worry about you, though.

All of it needs all of it.
Comma after face.
Best,
tectak